Title: What Does ‘Fair’ Have To Do With Anything?

Date: 4/6/2008    Location: Central Presbyterian Church

Texts: Genesis 3.14-19  John 11.28-37

Series: When Faith Is Hard: Dreams Destroyed

Dr. William M. Smutz

 

It can be dangerous, I believe, to share the story of a life experience without having pondered the experience for some period of time; without letting it seep through the filter of physical and emotional distance; without the perspective and wisdom such filtering can provide…..

 

But as I thought about the idea of destroyed dreams, the story that immediately sprang to mind was the crumbling of the relationship between me and the church I served in Kansas prior to coming to Central.  As I said, I fear I am still too close to that experience to reflect on it in a meaningful way….For it will only be a year at the end of this month since I left that church….And I in no way want to tell this story to lift myself up as an innocent victim, or to bath myself in an heroic light….

 

I simply share it, because I believe it is illustrative of the broken dreams that each and everyone of us has experienced at one time or another in our lives….That perhaps some of us are experiencing right now…..And I share this story because my journey though this broken dream has taught me deep lessons about the faithfulness of God….And the life-saving and hope-giving gift that God is for us – especially in shattered times.                                  

 

The new call to my previous church began in the fall of 2002, full of the promises and excitement of new beginnings.  I was the first new senior pastor in twenty-two years; and there was a sense that the church needed to move in new directions in order to remain vibrant and relevant and faithful.  My predecessor had been very controlling; running the church primarily through the staff and with a handful of trusted members. 

 

Armed with the belief that Session runs a Presbyterian church, and trusting in our polity, I got to work training the Elders to be Spiritual leaders, and building a committee structure through which they could carry out their work. 

 

New opportunities to be involved brought greater participation from church members, as well as new energy and a sense of deeper ownership in a number of ministry areas.  New things were born….like Stephen Ministry , a men’s bible study, fellowship opportunities, greater involvement of children in worship.  The renewed energy was positive and invigorating; but also masked warning signs that lurked just below the surface.

 

The staff members, many of whom were also members of the church, who at first welcomed greater participation in programming and leadership by the congregation, began to feel threatened.  They were no longer in charge of decision making, and didn’t always like the directions that newly empowered committees wanted to go.  In ways both subtle and not, the staff began to undermine both the new efforts, and me as the leader of change.

 

To be sure, mistakes were made.  I followed the long-term pastor through an arrangement called a co-pastor hand-off; a model for pastoral transition that bypasses the interim process.  It is a high-risk transition; that requires the new pastor to deal with interim-type issues while also trying to be the long-term minister.  After the fact, I learned that nearly eighty percent of co-pastor hand offs fail!.   

 

There also should have been greater turn-over in the staff….where many good people where deeply stuck in personal comfort zones, and old approaches to ministry that no longer served the needs of the congregation.  In attempting to avoid the conflict such turnover would have created, I unwittingly laid the ground work for even greater conflict.

 

Just before my fourth anniversary at the church, the conflict began. The small group of Elders and staff that had run the church under my predecessor, revolted.  They tied to take Session over and failed. 

 

Their next step was a rumor campaign involving unsigned emails, vicious gossip, and secret meetings.  Their tactics were tearing the church apart; and within four months I knew my ability to be an effective pastor for that congregation was gone, and I presented Session with an exit plan. 

 

The dreams that were destroyed for me were both personal and professional…..and they were many.  My family felt need to leave that congregation, and did so, nearly seven months before I did.  My oldest two sons feel betrayed by the church in which they were raised, and I don’t know if they’ll ever come back. 

 

The desire to have our children all graduate from the same high school; the community we possibly saw ourselves retiring in; the friendships we formed – all gone. 

I’m not one who likes to fail in the things I do….and the frustration at not being able to fix what was broken, and the corresponding sense of personal failure, have been bitter pills to swallow.  I think the shattering is mostly over now, but the experience is still too close to view with complete understanding.                                   

 

Both of today’s scripture lessons tell the story of dreams broken, and unexpected outcomes.  Adam and Eve are the ones who at first glance in our Genesis story suffer the loss of dreams.  They are banished from the garden, and God’s presence; with a future of turmoil and conflict and hard labors to look forward to.  The serpent doesn’t really get off lightly either, but it is just a snake, so we don’t care as much!

 

What strikes me, however, in this story, is that it is God who’s dreams are most shattered.  God has spoken an amazing creation into existence; and in the man and the woman, has created conversation partners after God’s own likeness.  In the human turning away from God, in the human choosing the knowledge of good and evil over trust in God, God’s dreams for creation are shattered and forever altered.                                                       

 

Mary is certainly shattered by the death of her brother in our John lesson…..And even more than this deep personal loss, we see also the shattering of who she though Jesus was – if you had been here, my brother would not have died, she says!  We see also Jesus’ loss.  He weeps for his good friend who is no more.  He weeps for the hurt and disappointment he feels he has caused Mary.  He may even weep for the potential cost of the action he is contemplating.  For in John’s Gospel it is Jesus’ raising of Lazarus from the dead that sets the religious authorities on the quest to kill him.                                                                   

 

Each of our stories concludes with a surprising response to dreams shattered.  Adam and Eve have crossed the line for which God has promised death – “but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it, you shall die.”

 

While they will come to know much that is unpleasant for their prideful actions, God cannot ultimately punish them with death….The creatures mean so much to God, that God adjusts the rules rather than end the relationship.

 

In similar fashion, Jesus’ response to Mary’s tears and hurt is the raising of Lazarus – an act of grace that will cost him dearly.

The divine response in each instance is not abandonment to the logical outcomes of human behavior and grief…..But is instead, a gift of presence. The divine response doesn’t undo what is done, doesn’t un-shatter the dreams that have been broken apart….But the very fact that God doesn’t abandon Adam and Eve; that Jesus comes to his friends in their deep  brokenness, is indicative, I believe, of how God cares for us when our dreams are shattered.

 

God stays with us in our deepest despair.  God does not abandon us in our greatest foolishness.  God remains by our side when all else is lost.  God invites us to use our knowledge of how much shattered dreams hurt to stand by one another.                                   

 

As I said earlier, there hasn’t been enough time to fully comprehend or process the extent of the shattering that I and my family experienced in Kansas …..But I can say without a doubt that God has been incredibly present and amazingly faithful to all of us through this.

 

There is a new call; old friendships continue and new ones are created; community does not die; knowledge painfully gained has the possibility of becoming wisdom.                                          

 

Our invitation today is two-fold:  if we are in the midst of great shattering, we are invited to trust that God will not abandon us even for a moment.  And if we see or know someone whose dreams are shattering all around them, we are invited and expected to be a very tangible representative of God’s presence; making a difference through our care and with our love.                                                                

In this season of Easter, when we celebrate the gift of new life that arose from God’s shattered dreams, let us give thanks that God is never, ever done with us…..And let us make sure that we never let go of each other!        

 

Amen!!!